Bond-esque

Apparently they're using super-sonic deer whistles now to fend off pirates.

The United States Navy Central Command said four suspected pirates in a skiff came within 300 yards of the Maersk Alabama at 6.30 a.m. Wednesday about 600 miles off the northeast coast of Somalia as it headed for the Kenyan port of Mombasa.

But a security team on board the Maersk Alabama responded with small-arms fire, long-range acoustical devices painful to the human ear and evasive maneuvers to thwart the attack, the navy said in a statement.

Awesome.

The Mystic

I consider it a major victory when I can get my mother to admit that any art produced in the last 15 years is better, more accurate or even more original than something made when she was young. She is deeply biased about the awesomeness of her generation.

On a recent car trip when I finally got to control the music, unprompted, she said, "Wow. This is really good. I think it's even better than the Van Morrison."

Sacrilege, Mother! I don't know if I'd go that far.

But thanks, Glen Hansard, for being awesome and helping me score one of my first points.

en garde!

Last week a teenaged boy chased me down the street. Only to then ask me where I got my umbrella. It was a little scary.

But the worst thing about this new umbrella is that I have to keep a very firm grip on my urge to challenge other unsuspecting umbrella carriers to a duel.

For the record: target.com.

I take solace in the fact

I'll know there's no hope left when the day-laborers in front of 7-11, with their impossibly low standards, tire of me.
And that day is not yet here. Even on my worst, pony-tailed, hoodies and glasses outings.

Because I'm a Woman?

Today during lunch in the conference room, where the more interesting and pleasant of my co-workers eat together almost daily, I let slip what I knew was an amusing remark. (note: I like to think every once in a while I can be trusted to have an amusing remark up my sleeve.)
I let it slip, and everyone laughed quite heartily, even more heartily than I expected. By now I can read this group of co-workers pretty well, but sometimes my inanity surprises even me.

But the remark itself was not the funniest part.
The funniest part was when a female co-worker, relatively new to the firm said, a bit surprised and impressed, amidst the laughter, "I think you said something funny the last time I ate lunch in here."

And that made me laugh out loud.

Expressing inappropriate emotion

A woman got on to the train holding on tightly to 3 things: 1 naked torso and 2 arms belonging to an alabaster, female mannequin.

1. Why, in the full train car, did only one young professional and myself express any visible interest or amusement in this woman and her dismembered friend?

2. What happened to her head?

Gross.

I got onto the bus after work today, the day before Valentine's Day, and it looked something like this:



Gross.

the perfect valentine obviously involves sleep

They're like rats. That fly.

I found myself in a kerfuffle of pigeons on the sidewalk the other day. I kept walking. I didn't shriek.

One even flapped me on the hand!

It was a momentous occasion.

Soon the pigeons and I will look like this.

oh, vocab

My boss was confused, amused and then impressed today when I used the word "imbue" in a sentence.

I may be too well-educated to be working in retail.

flooded

Do you know anyone incapable of using a washing machine without flooding their house?

No?

Now you do.

my 2009 workout obsession

saturdays at noon, oklahoma and canada go bollywood.

Cheerios of the future

These Cheerios are so tasty they cause people's mouths to move at a different rate than the words they're saying.



And look at that new-fangled box.

3rd date rule

After a 3rd encounter in a friend group I maintain that it is well within social norms to go in for the hug. Particularly when the other party comes toward you with his or her arm out in the Pre-hug Position.

Do be warned however, that the Pre-hug Position bares striking resemblance to the beginnings of the Jovial Handshake.

And while the intentions of the Jovial Handshake and the hug may be identical, I warn the reader further that in the few seconds before contact is made (and recognition has dawned on one or both of the parties) the Pre-hug Position cannot be stealthily converted into the Jovial Handshake.

Unless your idea of stealth involves being smacked in the head while stepping on the other person's feet.

Words that keep popping up that I swear I'd never heard before.

Knee-break.
Braggadocio.

To Resolve

Turns out I am now old enough, and boring enough, to feel motivated to make New Year's Resolutions.

1. I will be more socially active. The Canadian and I have discussed making a weekly happy hour commitment. This goes hand in hand with my vow to attend more social events/get out more/ make an effort to engage new people. Which is why I went out and was awkward at a party tonight instead of remaining on the couch, watching When Harry Met Sally.

2. I will read more. No one would ever know I was an English major in college. Or that I have literary inclinations. Or that I have a brain. That's because at some point I stopped reading very much. But I think I have figured out the cause of my delinquency, and so I directed myself into a non-fiction kick, which I expect to continue. Not because I declare it so, but because I want it so.

3. I will blog more. Ooooh, how meta.