So, the Canadian and I FINALLY found an apartment. It's cute. Exposed brick, open kitchen. It's in a great location. There is outdoor space. And I only had to be minimally dishonest in order to get the place.
I could tell right away that the property owner, let's call her Laverne, likes to talk. She's the kind of woman who doesn't have very many friends. Probably one best gal pal that she's had since her days at Smith in the 60s. That might be it. The poor mess of a woman has arthritic joints and can barely get up and down the stairs of her own property. She wears sweaters with a very large knit without anything underneath. This is not the kind of woman with a lot of personal relationships. That's why, when she let slip that she was designed the floorplan when the basement was renovated into an apartment, I knew I had to pounce.
The "beautiful" exposed brick would be beautiful had it not been painted over and then painted over again by an "artist" to make it look like actual exposed red brick.
The chandelier is "lovely." It's gaudy 90's brass, sure, but nothing a can of spray paint can't fix.
The big bedroom really is spacoius. It's just too bad that the closet has sliding mirrored doors. And a seafoam green "brick" wall.
And the small bedroom is very light. It has two big windows. No big deal that the pipes are exposed and hang down into the room. It's not like 7 foot ceilings are short. Or I'm 6 ft tall or anything.
I could tell right away that the property owner, let's call her Laverne, likes to talk. She's the kind of woman who doesn't have very many friends. Probably one best gal pal that she's had since her days at Smith in the 60s. That might be it. The poor mess of a woman has arthritic joints and can barely get up and down the stairs of her own property. She wears sweaters with a very large knit without anything underneath. This is not the kind of woman with a lot of personal relationships. That's why, when she let slip that she was designed the floorplan when the basement was renovated into an apartment, I knew I had to pounce.
The "beautiful" exposed brick would be beautiful had it not been painted over and then painted over again by an "artist" to make it look like actual exposed red brick.
The chandelier is "lovely." It's gaudy 90's brass, sure, but nothing a can of spray paint can't fix.
The big bedroom really is spacoius. It's just too bad that the closet has sliding mirrored doors. And a seafoam green "brick" wall.
And the small bedroom is very light. It has two big windows. No big deal that the pipes are exposed and hang down into the room. It's not like 7 foot ceilings are short. Or I'm 6 ft tall or anything.
My Canadian roomate? A student, of course!
Am I employed? Why yes, I'm a temp. (It just so happens that I got hired less than 24 hours ago, isn't that great!?)
And yes, of course I have 7,500 dollars in the bank. (I realize a lie is more illegal when you sign your name to it, but the Really Important Question is: is it also more immoral?)
And yes, of course I have 7,500 dollars in the bank. (I realize a lie is more illegal when you sign your name to it, but the Really Important Question is: is it also more immoral?)
Okay, probably.
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